Reasons why every girl should have a friend with benefits
1. THEY KNOW YOU BEST
If you’re anything like me then when you meet someone you really like and
are comfortable speaking to it doesn’t take long till the conversation turns to
the subject of sex. It might just me that has an unhealthy obsession but
considering how sex crazed the world is nowadays I’m pretty sure I’m not the
only one. Talking about sex is exciting and informative and with so much new ‘stuff’
out there we tend to talk about it with our friends of the opposite sex to
cross reference the appropriateness of our sexual preferences and behaviours. So
with this in mind it’s safe to say that sometimes our friends know our sexual
preferences even more than our sexual partners. A lot of us (especially us
girls) don’t like pointing out our partners’ sexual faults in front of them or
feel a little too shy to tell our men to spank us a little harder or kiss us
with a little less tongue so wouldn’t it be great to have sex with someone who
you’ve already discussed these things with? Someone who has discussed and maybe
debated or shared your sexual fantasies coz in all honesty who wants to be
telling their boyfriend about the crazy desires they have when they’re tryna
uphold their wifey material image. With a friend who happens to bone you every
now and again this isn’t an issue.
YOU'RE COMFORTABLE AROUND THEM
TThis kinda links in to my first point but I
just feel I need to explain the magnitude of pleasure that erupts in ones heart
when you’re so comfortable with your sexual partner that you are not ashamed to
get your fix whether you’re in-between salon visits, are in your tracksuit or
have just devoured an entire 13piece bucket of kfc chicken. All these things do
not matter when you’re shagging your friend. They probably saw you like this at
some point before you started doing each other so they knew what they were
getting themselves into. When we girls meet a guy and intend on committing we
try very hard to portray this image of perfection and don’t get me wrong, if
you want your man to commit and stick to you/stay in love you better come
across like your shit don’t stink but if it’s a think where it aint love but
you enjoy the person’s company and your body happens give you cravings for spontaneous
sex then hey...be yourself. Because in this case you can!
3. NO NEED TO DEAL WITH JEALOUSY
Granted we all have a basic level of
intelligence to even be classed as humans but sometimes the ‘exclusivity clause’
needs to be double explained to some of us. For example say a guy says to a girl ‘yeah
babe, I want to be with you. I really want you to be my girl because I think
you’re special’ the words that are actually registering in her head are ‘yeah
babe, I want to be with you. I want you to be THE ONLY GIRL IN MY LIFE BECAUSE
THERE IS NONE OTHER LIKE YOU’ I guess some might say the difference isn’t that
significant but any guy that has ever been with a jealous girl or accused
wrongly will know that at some point during an argument the girl will scream
something along the lines of ‘why did you tell me you wanted to be with me if
you’re gonna be seeing other girls’ this is because to us girls when you tell
us you want us exclusively you’re basically telling us that you’re never going
to consider any other girls as sexual partners. Unfortunately men don’t always
see it that way. In a FWB relationship this doesn’t tend to happen. You can’t
go fretting over someone cheating when you’re not in a relationship. Yes there
is the common courtesy issue of each party involved letting the other know of
any other partners but is more of a health and safety issue (never FWB a guy
that has a girlfriend or sleeps with other girls unprotected or sleeps with
whores...just saying). When there is less/no jealousy the sex is usually
better. You don’t tend to have those pride stricken moments where you’re hungry
for a fix but can’t go get it coz you’re angry.
4.
IT'S GREAT FOR THOSE WITH COMMITMENT PHOBIAS
I know it’s not really a solution but come
on we all need some lovin every now and then but we don’t all need the hassle
that comes with commitment. Some would say relationships aint that bad and the
love makes everything ok. Well, from my point of view, love didn’t make me feel
better about any of the baby mama drama, cheating, backstabbing and/or
loneliness in my past relationships. If anything it made me feel worse thinking
about how much I loved the person and they just decided to take my dedication
and shit on it. Now the essence of FWBs is that they’re there to be fun. You don’t
have to deal with love or betrayal in any other fashion you would deal with it
were it to be any other friend you have.
There’s also no need for the regular phone
calls, the date nights or meeting the family. As a matter of fact no one needs
to know about it and if you’re not one that likes cuddles you can easily just get
up after and head home without any hard feelings.
5. YOUR MILEAD WON'T GO UP
Ok so I have this little thing where I look
at the amount of guys a girl has been with like you would look at mileage on a
car. The more mileage, the less desirable. Obviously there are a few external
factors such as how amazing the cars ‘engine’ is and whether the driver has
sentimental attachments to the car but in essence a girl needs to keep her
mileage in check.
Problem is (as mentioned before) we still
wanna get busy. Sometime people think we’re crazy for wanting to be single coz
we can’t get our regular fix no more but what they don’t know is that we can. There
two main ways a girl can get her freak on; it is either she just does every
dude that catches her eye as and when she pleases or she sets aside a
designated individual to do the do with. Personally I think the second option
is more appealing. One night stands not only get you around but they are also
unsafe. Having a FWB means you can get jiggy widdit as often as you want whilst
our mileage only goes up by one.
So these are just a few things I love about
the FWB arrangement but don’t get me wrong, it does have its downsides and I
should probably point out certain things. As much as i agree that sex should
really be between two loving individuals (preferably married) i understand that
some of us do have needs we can’t budge and this post is addressed to those. FWB arrangements are strictly for people who
are single and expect to stay so in (at least) the near future. If they’ve got
a man/girl or are seeing anyone on a regular please do not get used or
heartbroken (or even worse tangled up in a love web) by assuming he/she will leave
their partner/potential to be exclusive with you. Firstly exclusivity is not
what FWB is about anyway. Though FWBs shouldn’t be sleeping with other people
without each other’s consent they are more than free to see other people but
you do NOT want to be the side chick/man or be a cheat...it’s not a good look.
Also, if you’re a girl you might find that
people might see your preference as slutty behaviour; it’s up to you how you
see it. According to some having sex with anyone you’re not in a committed relationship
with is whoreish. My biggest argument is usually my mileage theory but I just
generally give very little fudge about what ignorant people think of me so it’s
all good.
FWB relationships are not the kinda thing you
just jump into. Unfortunately, just like usual dating, you need to do some
ground work. You can’t just shag someone on a regular and avoid they’re calls
during the day and say its coz you’re just FWB...no, that’s a booty call
situation. It’s a very different cup of tea. In order to achieve the mutual
benefits described above you both need to enjoy each other’s company and at
least know each other on a platonic basis. I hate it when some people pretend
not to know each other when they are blatantly doing the nasty when no one is
looking. You don’t have to tell anyone that you’re doing each other but at least
give each other the respect of acknowledging each other in public and do stuff
together. The essence of this ish is that you’re friends...it just so happens
that you like to screw each other. Always remember to wrap it up too guys ;)
