5 Reasons why we should appreciate friend with benefit situations

Reasons why every girl should have a friend with benefits

1.       THEY KNOW YOU BEST

If you’re anything like me then when you meet someone you really like and are comfortable speaking to it doesn’t take long till the conversation turns to the subject of sex. It might just me that has an unhealthy obsession but considering how sex crazed the world is nowadays I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one. Talking about sex is exciting and informative and with so much new ‘stuff’ out there we tend to talk about it with our friends of the opposite sex to cross reference the appropriateness of our sexual preferences and behaviours. So with this in mind it’s safe to say that sometimes our friends know our sexual preferences even more than our sexual partners. A lot of us (especially us girls) don’t like pointing out our partners’ sexual faults in front of them or feel a little too shy to tell our men to spank us a little harder or kiss us with a little less tongue so wouldn’t it be great to have sex with someone who you’ve already discussed these things with? Someone who has discussed and maybe debated or shared your sexual fantasies coz in all honesty who wants to be telling their boyfriend about the crazy desires they have when they’re tryna uphold their wifey material image. With a friend who happens to bone you every now and again this isn’t an issue.

     YOU'RE COMFORTABLE AROUND THEM

TThis kinda links in to my first point but I just feel I need to explain the magnitude of pleasure that erupts in ones heart when you’re so comfortable with your sexual partner that you are not ashamed to get your fix whether you’re in-between salon visits, are in your tracksuit or have just devoured an entire 13piece bucket of kfc chicken. All these things do not matter when you’re shagging your friend. They probably saw you like this at some point before you started doing each other so they knew what they were getting themselves into. When we girls meet a guy and intend on committing we try very hard to portray this image of perfection and don’t get me wrong, if you want your man to commit and stick to you/stay in love you better come across like your shit don’t stink but if it’s a think where it aint love but you enjoy the person’s company and your body happens give you cravings for spontaneous sex then hey...be yourself. Because in this case you can!

3.       NO NEED TO DEAL WITH JEALOUSY

Granted we all have a basic level of intelligence to even be classed as humans but sometimes the ‘exclusivity clause’ needs to be double explained to some of us.  For example say a guy says to a girl ‘yeah babe, I want to be with you. I really want you to be my girl because I think you’re special’ the words that are actually registering in her head are ‘yeah babe, I want to be with you. I want you to be THE ONLY GIRL IN MY LIFE BECAUSE THERE IS NONE OTHER LIKE YOU’ I guess some might say the difference isn’t that significant but any guy that has ever been with a jealous girl or accused wrongly will know that at some point during an argument the girl will scream something along the lines of ‘why did you tell me you wanted to be with me if you’re gonna be seeing other girls’ this is because to us girls when you tell us you want us exclusively you’re basically telling us that you’re never going to consider any other girls as sexual partners. Unfortunately men don’t always see it that way. In a FWB relationship this doesn’t tend to happen. You can’t go fretting over someone cheating when you’re not in a relationship. Yes there is the common courtesy issue of each party involved letting the other know of any other partners but is more of a health and safety issue (never FWB a guy that has a girlfriend or sleeps with other girls unprotected or sleeps with whores...just saying). When there is less/no jealousy the sex is usually better. You don’t tend to have those pride stricken moments where you’re hungry for a fix but can’t go get it coz you’re angry.

4.       IT'S GREAT FOR THOSE WITH COMMITMENT PHOBIAS

I know it’s not really a solution but come on we all need some lovin every now and then but we don’t all need the hassle that comes with commitment. Some would say relationships aint that bad and the love makes everything ok. Well, from my point of view, love didn’t make me feel better about any of the baby mama drama, cheating, backstabbing and/or loneliness in my past relationships. If anything it made me feel worse thinking about how much I loved the person and they just decided to take my dedication and shit on it. Now the essence of FWBs is that they’re there to be fun. You don’t have to deal with love or betrayal in any other fashion you would deal with it were it to be any other friend you have.

There’s also no need for the regular phone calls, the date nights or meeting the family. As a matter of fact no one needs to know about it and if you’re not one that likes cuddles you can easily just get up after and head home without any hard feelings.

5.       YOUR MILEAD WON'T GO UP

Ok so I have this little thing where I look at the amount of guys a girl has been with like you would look at mileage on a car. The more mileage, the less desirable. Obviously there are a few external factors such as how amazing the cars ‘engine’ is and whether the driver has sentimental attachments to the car but in essence a girl needs to keep her mileage in check.

Problem is (as mentioned before) we still wanna get busy. Sometime people think we’re crazy for wanting to be single coz we can’t get our regular fix no more but what they don’t know is that we can. There two main ways a girl can get her freak on; it is either she just does every dude that catches her eye as and when she pleases or she sets aside a designated individual to do the do with. Personally I think the second option is more appealing. One night stands not only get you around but they are also unsafe. Having a FWB means you can get jiggy widdit as often as you want whilst our mileage only goes up by one.

So these are just a few things I love about the FWB arrangement but don’t get me wrong, it does have its downsides and I should probably point out certain things. As much as i agree that sex should really be between two loving individuals (preferably married) i understand that some of us do have needs we can’t budge and this post is addressed to those.  FWB arrangements are strictly for people who are single and expect to stay so in (at least) the near future. If they’ve got a man/girl or are seeing anyone on a regular please do not get used or heartbroken (or even worse tangled up in a love web) by assuming he/she will leave their partner/potential to be exclusive with you. Firstly exclusivity is not what FWB is about anyway. Though FWBs shouldn’t be sleeping with other people without each other’s consent they are more than free to see other people but you do NOT want to be the side chick/man or be a cheat...it’s not a good look.

Also, if you’re a girl you might find that people might see your preference as slutty behaviour; it’s up to you how you see it. According to some having sex with anyone you’re not in a committed relationship with is whoreish. My biggest argument is usually my mileage theory but I just generally give very little fudge about what ignorant people think of me so it’s all good.

FWB relationships are not the kinda thing you just jump into. Unfortunately, just like usual dating, you need to do some ground work. You can’t just shag someone on a regular and avoid they’re calls during the day and say its coz you’re just FWB...no, that’s a booty call situation. It’s a very different cup of tea. In order to achieve the mutual benefits described above you both need to enjoy each other’s company and at least know each other on a platonic basis. I hate it when some people pretend not to know each other when they are blatantly doing the nasty when no one is looking. You don’t have to tell anyone that you’re doing each other but at least give each other the respect of acknowledging each other in public and do stuff together. The essence of this ish is that you’re friends...it just so happens that you like to screw each other. Always remember to wrap it up too guys ;)

Introducing the 'Banana-zonto' by Sister Deborah

So I just watched Deborah Vanessa’s video to her song ‘uncle Obama’ *Holds head and snickers in disbelieve*. Don’t get me wrong I totally love it but BOI is that girl crazy. As much as I usually give mixed race Ghanaian celebs extra slack coz they tend to think it’s ok to be mediocre at their trade simply because the majority of the Ghanaian public goes crazy for anything yellow i.e. mangoes, MTN, Van Vicker ... basically everything that if you have too much of, is sure to make you through up with disgust. Surprisingly once I got done hating on her sizzling body I had to admit to myself that she isn’t so bad after all. As a matter of fact she has to be (alongside my husband wanlov who apparently happens to be related to ‘Debbie’ and appears in the vid) one of the coolest GH celebs out there. Not only does she seem to know how to make a dime by making this tune alongside her day job as the host of ‘The late night show’ and being a model but according to her tweets she doesn’t seem to have that spoilt dada bee attitude a lot of these ‘pretty girls’ seem have. All in all, she deserves a feature on my blog, especially so after the airing of her new vid *continues to giggle*

The above mentioned video is not only well produced but also very creative and, if you’re gonna believe me; I should say that it’s actually quite funny.  You can actually watch it below...

To be honest I think I am more infatuated with what Debbie represents more than the art itself. You know when you meet a girl and she’s everything and says everything and does everything you would NEVER dare to do and you just adore her for it because in a weird, twisted and confusing ‘inception’ kinda way you vicariously through her craziness...yeah, that’s Deborah. Mind you I’m still a crazy heffer but never have I even in my craziest dreams, would I dare to make a song about the large banana of a man called uncle Obama so I can just imagine how much more of a muse Deborah must be to the mentally sane portion of females in existence.

I just think it’s really cool how she does and says what she wants and has fun with it whilst making us sexy minded but not quite as sexy bodied girls drool over her splendour just as much, if not even more than the guys. I think my point is (sorry about the uncertainty but I am still laughing about the 1001 innuendos in ‘uncle Obama’) we GH chicks should aim to be more like Debbie. Whether our fantasies are to turn up to events in skin tight cat suits with the back cut out, speak pidgin like we from makola or sing about insinuating songs about a man’s banana all whilst still looking like a piece of red velvet cake with butter cream icing and a cherry on top, we should do that. Inhibitions aren’t sexy...after all ‘les freak, cest chic’. Also i've come to realise since working in a field that involves artistes that as a girl, you're not going nowhere unless you're oozing sex appeal. it might sound sexist but this 'sex sells' thing ain't just talk ladies. You will get no where until you get noticed and in a world still run by men this will happen most easily by representing irresistability and Power...in other words Sex and independence. If you like dont believe me but you just try selling anything whilst looking like you just stepped out of a nollywood movie and come and tell me how that goes for you. i'll be waiting! 

Ghana party in the park '12

So as usual I’m a little bit late on this post simply because I just haven’t gotten the grip on when he weekend ends yet. I tend to try and push it as far as I can but finally Monday has caught up even with the most procastinatious of us...yours truly!

On Saturday the 15^th of September (after a long a frankly frustrating wait) akwaaba UK finally decided to hold (what used to be) one of the most looked forward to events of the summer for most of the Ghanaian community in and around greater London. I for one love everything that involves a big group of African people as I can be ‘Ashanti’ I please with little consequence so I decided to go even though there was a last minute venue change but it turned out to be in my favour so I really had no excuse. On top of that it was a good way to promote and advertise some MYHH tees on the prettiest billboard around....MOI! ;)

Being the Africans that we are, my family and I got there quite late and thought there would be a massive queue but we were pleasantly surprised and stood corrected but then again that meant that when we walked in the park looked quite bare compared to the masses that would turn up for party in the park in its early years.

No lie I met a few nice personalities including twitter personality twi teacher (@twi_teacher) who by the way has a new tune out called ‘kraman style’....don’t ask. He’s original like that! You can check him out on twitter under @twi_teacher. Tell him I sent you! I tried getting him to wear a MYHH on stage but apparently that would have messed up the ‘fanshin’ he had on so I let it slide...not forgetting he bribed me with chicken. If you want a Ghanaian girl to stop nagging, give her chicken, will work most of the time. He went on to perform yam and chofi which drove everyone wild and i don’t blame em, i for one have never been one to object to yam and chofi...EVER!

Some of the other artistes that performed included fuse odg with hit tune azonto. I was slightly disappointed he did not perform ‘antenna’ as one of the guys in the epic dance video that’s gone viral in relation to this song was present at the event. Other personalities included tribal man amongst others.

To my amazement I actually ran into two beautiful young ladies who were rocking MYHH shirts and took pictures. The movement is spreading wildly and it ain't stopping. I advice you holla at me for t-shirts before they become essential commodities people.

All in all the entire event was fun and I got to meet some nice people which has always been the point of GPITP...for Ghanaians to socialise with each other. Check out the pictures I took ;)

marshmallow in MYHH paired with short skirt and a blingy belt 

oh yeah...i forot to mention the converses :P

pulling current from twi teacher

pretty girls  rocking MYHH...join the club NOW!

THE DAY I BROKE MY CAR-GINITY

Yup I know you're thinking 'WTF is a Car-ginity?' well it's AJ talk for when you've never been to a full blown notting hill carnival before and BOI was I unprepared for the mayhem!

To be honest my bank holiday Monday started off on a sour note. I had planned to go carnival with my younger cousins as an experience and because I had never been before myself but as the time grew nearer and it hit 1pm and I hadn’t taken my shower, things were looking like it was going to be another boring Monday where I allowed my life to pass me by. I had wanted to go out the night before but didn’t so I was slightly annoyed about not getting enjoy my 3day weekend to the fullest until AT LAST at about a little past 3pm I and my entourage were finally ready to hit the streets of notting hill.

We got there about an hour later. Wide eyed and naive we all walked into the parade eagerly trying to catch some of the action...UNTIL THE ACTION CAUGHT US!

The mass of people was ridiculous. There were half naked girls (and to my surprise guys too) as far as the eye could see but trust me when I say I wasn’t complaining (see previous bracketed comment) and the music was on point. Shortly after we got there we discovered the Nigerian parade truck and tagged along besides dozens of other afro beat lovers. As a matter of fact I am pretty sure I was winding to some jmartins when my eye turned and fell upon tiffany (yes, that tiffany). Turns out missy is actually in the UK relatively often and decided to check out the carnival. We didn’t have the chance to small talk in the midst of the noise and massive mob of ravers so we moved on after exchanging pleasantries but not before snapping some pictures. Carnival wasn’t the day to be a groupie or a distributor for that matter. I went to enjoy myself even though I must say I could not resist doing some small advertisement by wearing my own MYHH tee. What better billboard than me eh, it’s not as if I’m not big enough.

We went on to boogie some more to an array of party tunes from both the Caribbean and Africa, displayed some small azonto and even some alanta whilst I was at it...after all you can take the Nigerians away from me but...No, actually I live in London, the Nigerians isn’t going nowhere.

Anyway although I was sexually harassed by several individuals, ground upon by a short Nigerian and ruff looking heat packing yardie and having to wrestle me and my family’s way through the crowds at the end I actually thought it was reasonable fun but I’ll let you be the judge by checking out the pics. Enjoy!

p.s. remember MYHH tees are now available in the UK from me ONLY! Grab yours now as I only have a few left. Check out the tumbler and the face book for more information or contact Joey (@joey_chase) or ask ‘Nas D’Mechanix’ on face book ;)

First thing i see when we enter the carnival route..a ghana flag!

Yours truely rocking my MYHH

Amazing painting of the london marathon...

...and it's artist, rocking Kwame Nkruma.

Parade decorations

Yaa Asantewaa Arts...coordiantors of the caribbean float -_-

'Y3 nyinaa ab) dam w) UK ha, na coat na ya hy3 3gu so'

Those that understand, will understand!

The masses!

Tiffany showing some love

some people too enjoying from the roof tops

talk about SEX appeal lol

ME YE HIP HOP!

NEW MUSIC AND VIDEOS

Quick update on whats been going on in the GH music industry.

Many of you may have heard R2bees tune 'odo' already. it's been making tidal waves all across the globe, as a matter of fact, i was walking to the shop the other day and this dude was blasting the tune out of his car.
i must say the car was a bit of a disgrace to the song but, oh well, we cant have it all can we now.
Anyway, i personally like the song. Even though i would be lying if i said it was my favourite tune to come from the west african super stars i can comfortably admit that it's a good song to listen to casually.
The lyrics of the song are quite sweet (for those who dont know 'odo' means love) which i found a bit weird as i'm not used to hearing the boys rap 'romantically', especially Paedae, but in their usual manner, they made it work.
My favourite aspect of this song is the fact that the beat is actually hi-life. it has a real old school vibe to it which i adore. Killbeatz being Killbeatz i think he did a good job on this one. everytime i listen to this i just want to whip out my white hankerchief and sway my hips, salsa style.
there isnt a video to the song yet but you can listen to it on youtube and download the mp3 on http://www.themonteoz.com/2012/08/11/r2bees-odo-mp3-download/.

Ok so that's that but today i've actually got something else up my sleeve too. Turns out Paedae and his clan have been real busy recently because, not long after they made our hearts melt with odo, they've also jsut dropped the video for 'life (walaahi)' and this, i must say, is DEFINITELY a banger. If this song doesn't get worn out on airplay i'll gladly consider myself deaf.
It's these kinda tunes that make the hot girls crush hard on Killbeatz even though you hardly ever get to see him in videos or hear his voice. Although a lot of his beats have similar elements he seems to have mastered the art of making a beat that will by all means necessary make it impossible for you not to want to move. There aren't many GH producersup to his caliber nowadays but i think he knows that.
The video to the song was directed by OJ (@bigojfilms) who's a big name in the industry and has worked with Sarkodie and Stay Jay. due to the passion for his work OJ usually comes out with videos of top quality and this one is no exception although i must say, if i should criticize anything, the concepts and the effects used in the excecution are a bit samey if you look at this video and the videos of the previously mentioned artistes which were directed by OJ but that does not in anyway deduct from the quality of the video in my opinion.
The video starrs the boys and friends, including ToGH entity Nana Yaw Boakye, in different settings, some that didn't look like they were staged. The video has a 'in the life of...' reality show/docu feel to it which i like.
In no way is the video pretentious and totally represents the song and it's title. it's defibitely a masterpiece so without furthe adue i present to you 'life (walaahi)' by R2bees. Don't hesitate to follow them on twitter @R2bees

FOKN BOIS @ HOOTANANNY

So this little review is totally overdue as I saw the event on Friday night but in all honesty, I just had to let the excitement wear off before I wrote anything. After all we want to keep it objective don’t we :P so I start off with saying I am still utterly in infatuation with the Kubolor and gladly accept the groupie title any day any time (the thing about being objective was said out of the depth of a sarcastic mind...it’s my blog so I say what I like *shrugs*). Any man that makes me laugh that much, is that weird, and (oddly) such a gentleman deserves a ride or die groupie lol.

I went to see the boys on Friday the 10^th of august as an impromptu night out after realising they were performing at a place called Hootenanny in Brixton. The event was called ‘wormfood’ and the line up consisted of about 4 acts I believe, including a German group that played some REAL controversial stuff, talking about they wish they end up in hell...ok, but you're on your own, mate! I wasn’t surprised that Wanlov and Mensa would perform there as I know hootenanny to embrace any and everything weird and wonderful. The crowd that goes there might not be particularly extensive but they appreciate good music even if it is different and lets me honest there is nothing ‘normal’ about Wanlov and Mensa's most recent, FOKN with ewe, album from which they performed several songs.

The stage set up was minimal, no fancy drapes or lighting, just the average stuff really but the thing I love about hootenanny is the fact that the people make the atmosphere. The last time I was there (to watch a friend perform at an open mic night) the ambiance was very calm, collected and soothing. The audience tends to reflect the acts on display for each night. Considering that the FOKN BOIS and a lot of the other acts relate to a younger (slightly wilder) group of people, this was reflected in the audience a little. Mind you I’m not saying there weren’t some mature guests enjoying the music too and I tell no lie when I say some seemed to enjoy the performance even more than the young folk. In terms of the boys’ get up... just the usual. Mensa was in a casual African-like printed top and shorts whilst Wanlov sported an international outfit that hailed from Nigeria to Senegal to Ghana and a ‘skirt’ that hailed from Kenya I believe. I was slightly tempted but knew better than to lift it up too high whilst I studied the patterns. It was very eye catching and I guess I don’t need to mention the fact that he wasn’t wearing shoes. I actually kept flinching for him as people stepped inches away from his foot with their hard soled shoes but I guess the man is used to it.

Anyway, the performance.  Much to my amusement (they really make you feel like they’re performing just for you, for your individual entertainment) they started off the show with sets of press ups and I must say from what I saw they both don’t seem to be in the worst of shapes. As the excitement grew with their little stunt people that had dissipated away from the stage after the previous act gradually started crowding around again and that’s when the Kubolor introduced them as being most famous in china. You got three guesses for what song they performed after that intro. As a matter of fact they did well to kind of introduce each song they performed and even translated the chorus to sextra terrestrial sex so that the people in the audience that weren’t Ghanaian or didn’t understand twi would not feel left out.

I think my favourite moments from the performance was firstly when they sang ‘we want to be white’ not only do I love that song because of the obvious sarcastic nature which I relate to so well but also because they switched it up a bit by having the band play a hi life style beat. Oh I didn’t mention the live band before did I? I apologize, especially because I think it brought a whole new vibe to the performance. The guy on the guitar who I found out to be Ryan Ansah is actually amazing. I also noticed that the band was very multi cultural as Ansah is part Ghanaian part English, I believe, the drummer looked far eastern and the guy on the key board looked European. It portrayed one of the reasons I love the FOKN BOIS so much ...they want to make good music regardless of where the influences come from and they’ve got messages to put out there that is relevant to everyone. They don’t care if you're white black or yellow, they’re just here to address and confront the bull crap in this world in a way that either makes you love em or hate em, either way you’re bound to listen and laugh at some point. Sextra terrestrial sex was also great simply because of the soulful mellow nature of the song. Only Wanlov and Mensa can talk about acid sweating aliens and make you want to rush home to your man and make babies. It’s actually crazy! I think the highlight for me though was when they performed pinch and had Tawiah (protégé of Mark Ronson) come on stage to put a little vim into it and trust me she did. You can check Tawiah out on YouTube or on twitter (@tawiahmusic).

All in all I had a really great night socialising with these amazing artistes and getting to watch them live for the first time. Below are a few videos and pics of the show and make sure you follow them on twitter if you like them (@foknbois)

Also don’t forget MYHH tees are coming soon and I’ve already got pre-orders so don’t miss out ;) 

Wanlov and Mensa doing press ups

Famous in china

Wanlov and I

FOKN with Mensa 

His feet are bare! its not a lie!

The dynamic duo just before action

ME Y3 HIP HOP GOES ABROKYI

Soooooooooooo as some of you may have noticed i have been ranting about this new brand on my fb page. The said brand is called Me Y3 Hip Hop and i am not only hyping because i am a hopeless groupie but also because it happens to be headed by a good friend of mine Joey Chase (@joey_chase) and his partner Nas. They also happen to be the joint masterminds behind Ill Mechanix. On top of this...waaaaaaaiiiittttt ffooooooorrrriiiiiitttttt....i happen to have the honour of being cut in on the deal. As of now you are reading the Blog rantings of the brand sparkling new, exclusive distributor of Me Y3 Hip Hop merchandise in the United Kingdom. Sounds more glamorous than it is coz it basically means i'm going to have to bust my ass to meet sales and marketing targets (blurgh) nevertheless it's an honour to be part of something so groundbreaking, especially as it's all coming out of the motherland.

Here's the official info about the expansion...

ME Y3 HIP HOP GOES ABROAD 

So after a lengthy wait ME Y3 HIP HOP is finally hitting international shores.
ME Y3 HIP HOP has hit Ghana real hard with music industry entities such as EFYA, LADY JAY, VERSE RICO and STONE BWOY being spotted in the iconic original ME Y3 HIP HOP t-shirts in all places from exclusive events to daily studio sessions. Not too long ago modern pioneer in the Ghanaian hip hop scene J TOWN even went as far as to feature a specially designed graphic tee in one of his videos and of course Mr. MEY3HIPHOP, Joey Chase ( @joey_chase , popular name when it comes to anything creative) himself pretty much sleeps and wakes in them. This is how hot these shirts are on the gold coast and thus there’s no wonder that management have decided to expand. 

We want every one, Ghanaian or not, at home or in the Diaspora to get a taste of what it feels to wear a ME Y3 HIP HOP tee with pride. To be able to help raise awareness for the love of hip hop, especially but not only that made in Ghana. ME Y3 HIP HOP is not just about apparel but it’s about a way of life and that is what is being shared... ME Y3 HIP HOP is not just a cool phrase it’s a way of life but obviously it helps when you live looking good. 

The initial campaign will only involve the line of original dual tone printed tee shirts but designs for new products such as fitted caps and printed lighters are in the pipeline and will be available internationally too. 

Tees come in all variations of sizes and are unisex so can be rocked by both girls and guys that feel to put some spice into their wardrobe, it just depends on what colours you go for.  

The international expansion will commence in the UK where the first original ME Y3 HIP HOP tees will be available by Monday the 13th of august. Distribution will be done exclusively by AJ Manu (@marshmallow_AJ) so get at her as soon as possible for info on pre-orders and introductory deals. You can also find more info on the ME Y3 HIP HOP facebook page or by dropping AJ a message.

Anyway from the 13th of august the UK will have access to the original Me Y3 Hip Hop tees but only by contacting me on facebook ( Adjoa AJ-Bliss Manu) or twitter (@marshamallow_AJ), preorders can also be made. There's a facebook page aswell where you can check out the designs and read more about MYHH aswell as follow the tumbler (http://meyehiphop.tumblr.com/).

Make sure you support you support the cause (and my pocket....and your wardrobe) by copping a tee when they drop. i'll be counting down on fb so watch this space honeys ;)