Pleasure...and other imaginary things.

There are few things that turn me on beyond percipience but the radiance of his skin when he walks out of the shower must be at the top spot hands down.
it's like something outside of our section of the light spectrum.

It’s sort of the colour of every sweet you’ve ever craved, the colour of the smell of fresh pancakes and syrup on a sunny Sunday morning. His skin looks the way taking off your bra at the end of the day feels and trust me... 

that shit is EPIC. 

It is a colour that somehow seems to have acquired the skill of calling my name but not this time! This time i am standing my ground. This time I pretend to be asleep.

With the seemingly innocent intention of just getting a glimpse of the water dripping down his back, my wandering eye peeps over the covers. 

I’m stuck. 

My limbs can't move even though thrills rush down my spine and my hormones are in turmoil. I'm throbbing so I try to squeeze close my eyes like they'd be able to snap hold of the blood that's rushing from my head to...

well, downwards. 

I release a sigh at the agony his smooth, toned, slender body puts me through and forget to keep it quiet. He gently turns around with all the grace someone made in God's image would have and smiles. Oh Jesus! Deliver me from evil because this fruit is ripe! It’s about 6 foot tall, It has 32 perfect teeth a smile that got me here in the first place and skin...skin I just want to touch, as a matter of fact, this fruit is getting plucked! 

He has since turned back around to walk back into the bathroom and I try to calm my heavy breathing so I can sleep when....

BOOM!

lips as soft as cotton and warm as springs morning sun meets the angle that my neck n shoulder create. I shudder. His hands steadily explore the highs n lows of my physique. As he gets to my waist he alternates strokes with kisses, it tickles and I giggle but I don’t tell him to stop. I continue to pretend I'm asleep although everything seems to get harder by the millisecond. I notice the resistance is causing a whole different kind of sensation in my being. Something peculiar. I can no longer take it. That's it. My entire body shivers with the excitement of what's to come. 

Our lips meeting... 

skin touching... 

hearts beating in unison. 

Eagerly I turn and once more open my eyes ...

to the realisation that the other side of my bed is still empty and as freezing as ice. 

The Fugetives return

I vigorously shake my right hand as my left one cups my quivering lips in an attempt to muffle my screams. It’s funny how I am just as loud during pain as I am during pleasure. Unfortunately, he knew how to trigger both quite efficiently.

The only way I realise how hard I’m shaking is by the aching of my wrist. I don’t hear the clicking; I don’t feel shaking of my body. Everything seems to be in agonizing slow motion and I can’t breathe. 

No matter how much I increase the speed at which I inhale, none of the oxygen seems to reach my veins. I can't breathe. 

I’m slowly suffocating as my heart beat goes from 0 to 100 in 60seconds fuelled by pure hate and disgust.

I feel dizzy and my vision blurs as the sodium chloride in my tears seems to concentrate with every word I read and Every date I see which coincides with a time I was sitting, sipping on black label next to him. My state causes me to magnify every word said to be simultaneous to the greatest level of betrayal. Even the jokes. How dare he joke with her. 

I swear social networking is the devil.

I can almost hear them chuckling and giggling with pleasure. The sound buzzes around my ear like the annoying sound of a fly whirring about a room. 

Only thing is this time it's on the other side of my ear.

I catch one escapee tear with back side of my hand and thank God I wasn't wearing makeup. Thank God the only person home wasn't paying me any mind.

My mind feels woozy. 

Thoughts I thought I'd never have again crossed me...is the chemist still open? 

This pain is definitely killing me, let’s speed it up eh? Hell can’t be that bad anyway.  Hell is obviously playing tsatsa (gamble) with my life. Another point to Lucifer...let’s go congratulate him. Even though I have a feeling when shit hits the fan he’ll get all the recognition needed.

I see names of 'friends' saying things that make my heart split three ways. ewiase nye enika (the world is evil) is all I can think as I contemplate whether I'd rather be the broken hearted girl or the bitch that got hurt n snitches out of spite. I have a reputation to uphold...But who cares. I do. 

So I let it slide, all of it. 

I steady my breath. I wipe the tears. 

I find that the white light has been blinking on my phone. 

Disorientation caused me to ignore it before. As I type in his birthday to unlock my phone I realise I lost this fight long ago. I return to lay my neck in the Guillotine where it belongs and reply to his whatsapp message. My rebellion was short lived, unwitnessed. As i remember how much i love him the shackles snap close around my wrists and ankles. 

I’ll never escape. 

I’ll just wait till he drops this blade, executing me and finally separating my heart from my head.

2012 APPRECIATIONS (Essence B, Twi Teacher, Fokn Bois and more)

Hi guys....

so 2012 is over eh? eiiiih!
well i am glad it is. 2012 was a great year, there was ups and downs i wont lie but it taught me a lot and i'm grateful.
in 2012 i met some great personalities, some became friends, some became enemies but in the end i decided that all is water under the bridge i shal forgive all for their tresspasses.
in terms i've written sad blog posts, happy blog posts some were controversial and some downright bitchy but it's always been me. ive expressed my love for music and poetry on both my blogs respectively and shared my opinions/experiences with several artists from R2bees to the Fokn bois.
its all been a journey to be honest and i appreciate the experience but now ROLL ON 2013!!!!!!! WOOT WOOT!!!

this year is going to be immense as i and the 'crew' have a lot in store...

Firstly, for those that dont know i have recently been promoted by the powers that be at ill mechanix and am as of sometimes last month Managing director of me ye hip hop. so this year i am not only responsible for the  PR of myhh but that and sales and everything in between. in all honesty i was doing all that anyway but having a fancy tag to my name is just cooler lol. but heavy is the head that wears the crown and thus, a lot is expected of me. I plan to make myhh a household name at least in the african community. you'll be seeing myhh on stages adorning ripped abs aswell as on runways hugging sexy curves.
the accessory line should be coming out soon featuring original african orientated snap backs designs by the myhh team themselves including me of course. also a brand isnt a brand until it has had a launch party so watch this space...if you know how i party, you should be looking forward to this.

secondly, those f you who have been following this blog probably know that i started this blogging thing with poetry. that is what i do, i write poetry. its pretty much what keeps me sane.
i was recently approached by an old friend of mine to publish some of my work in a book and i jumped on the opportunity (i didnt really jump. it took ALOT of cursing and shoving). the book will be an anthology of poems relating to my life experiences. there's quite a variety of subjects from love and it's heartbreaks to me dealing with insecurities as a girl and also trying to find my identity and faith. there will be about 30 odd poems and the digital version of the book (working title 'unclothed') is due to be released early spring 2013 with hard copies being released later on this year maybe. All this is thanks to my essence b so i beg help me say thank you eh! *ghana accent*
another thing to be looking out for is the front cover...there might be a little controversy. you can guess from the title ;)

this year i am open to working with anyone, famous or not, on any of my projects so if any of plans sound interesting to you feel free to hook me up but in all honesty considering that my field is PR, i'll be hunting down celebs for endorsements anyway so sit and relax while i stalk you lol.

there are some people who have been a great help to my project so i think this might be a good time to thank them.

In first place would be my chase boys. Joey, Nas and Ivan in particular. working with these guys can be a pain sometimes but its worth it. Joey is the most determined, Nas on the most creative and Ivan the most dedicated person i know. they're like family to me and i love them all to bits MUAH!

Now twi teacher, his originality is inspiring but besides that i want to shout him out for his support for the brand. featuring myhh on his blog is being appreciated ;) and talking of twi teacher, you should check out his website ww.twiteacher.com for everything ghanaian from how to make your nappy hair more bareable to mucatella! Aaaaalso, hes got a new a new video on youtube called 'vim baako' click the link and it'll take you straight there. trust me. its one to watch. "New Video From Twi Teacher (Vim Baako)http://youtu.be/nr0MoOgd3CM 

lastly too, the fokn bois. my collective husbands (only my dreams of course). thanks to them my blog post on sister deborah's video hit record breaking numbers and that deserves appreciation. maybe this year i can finally get both of them to wear one of my shirts, even if i'd rather see em without clothes *sigh*. oh and of course i must thank them for the songs 'my everywhere' and 'beatrice'...for all the obvious reasons ;)

anyway that is it for now guys. i shall update you on any news about myhh and my book. i'm even considering starting a youtube channel and vlogging but we'll see about that. to get a preview on some of the poems that might go into my book check out http://aj-wordsunspoken.blogspot.co.uk/ for my 'classics' ;)

Me Ye Hip Hop at Watch Me Blow

Hey guys,

i know you haven't heard from me in a while but from my rantings on twitter and facebook you might have noticed that i've been busy trying to orchestrate a showcase for me ye hip hop and help organise the show it was to feature in.

yesterday the 17th december 2012 'myhh' featured in the event dubbed 'watch me blow' which was an open platform for up and coming individuals involved in both fashion and music.
Being featured in the show i dont thing i can judge it objectively so i will not be writing a review but instead i just wanted to show you guys what went down backstage (and a little on stage) with my models and give a few shout outs whilst im at it.

first of all i'd like to thank Emma-Ruth for involving me in the show both in the organisation and having my MYHH featured in the show. the experience has been priceless and everyone at IllMechanix appreciates the opportunity. Big thank you also to Essence for performing for us.

Secondly i'd like to thank all my models for participating. i know some of you were arranged on a really short notice simply due to unforseen circumstances but you all managed to do a great job. when i say these girls and boys were professional...they cooperated with the make up and the styling. helped out where they could and even managed to calm me down when i was stressing. simply put they were amazing!
i would love to work with most of them again and would reccommend them to other designers any day. they even put up with me when  was snapping my hands at them (stress makes me a lil more of a bitch than usual nkwasiasem).

Special special thanks also to my PAs for the night Richlove and Sara really made the night more bareable for me from when i had to borrow Sara's shoes so i could give mine to one of the models (its a hard life) they were around getting me contacts and i really appreciate that.

oooh oooh ooooh and a BIG BIG BIG congrats to my little baby georgia who had her (impromptu) debut into the modeling scene last night. the night started with her ironing my t-shirts and ended in her strutting in an amazing gown by one of the other designers. im so proud of her even though shes a traitor lol

above all though i want to thank God for making this a good show (although i almost murdered myself unwillingly, trying to climb a chair and now have a sprained ankle all cz a hot white dude was singing to me about how he didnt need a candles or cake but just my body to make good birthday sex *sigh*)  without him it wouldnt have been possible. i also thank everyone that came especially those wo came specifically for MYHH. thank you lots and lots.

i've put up some pictures for you to enjoy but before hat just to let you know in collaboration with twi teacher we have decided to celebrate our first public appearance by giving away one MYHH shirt. to enter just go to http://twiteacher.com/?p=4204 and follow the instructions...GOOD LUCK xx

me and the crew

;)

one of my PAs, Sara

my model Obi and Sara

my girl Provvi and Obi

Richlove...the other PA

5 Reasons why we should appreciate friend with benefit situations

Reasons why every girl should have a friend with benefits

1.       THEY KNOW YOU BEST

If you’re anything like me then when you meet someone you really like and are comfortable speaking to it doesn’t take long till the conversation turns to the subject of sex. It might just me that has an unhealthy obsession but considering how sex crazed the world is nowadays I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one. Talking about sex is exciting and informative and with so much new ‘stuff’ out there we tend to talk about it with our friends of the opposite sex to cross reference the appropriateness of our sexual preferences and behaviours. So with this in mind it’s safe to say that sometimes our friends know our sexual preferences even more than our sexual partners. A lot of us (especially us girls) don’t like pointing out our partners’ sexual faults in front of them or feel a little too shy to tell our men to spank us a little harder or kiss us with a little less tongue so wouldn’t it be great to have sex with someone who you’ve already discussed these things with? Someone who has discussed and maybe debated or shared your sexual fantasies coz in all honesty who wants to be telling their boyfriend about the crazy desires they have when they’re tryna uphold their wifey material image. With a friend who happens to bone you every now and again this isn’t an issue.

     YOU'RE COMFORTABLE AROUND THEM

TThis kinda links in to my first point but I just feel I need to explain the magnitude of pleasure that erupts in ones heart when you’re so comfortable with your sexual partner that you are not ashamed to get your fix whether you’re in-between salon visits, are in your tracksuit or have just devoured an entire 13piece bucket of kfc chicken. All these things do not matter when you’re shagging your friend. They probably saw you like this at some point before you started doing each other so they knew what they were getting themselves into. When we girls meet a guy and intend on committing we try very hard to portray this image of perfection and don’t get me wrong, if you want your man to commit and stick to you/stay in love you better come across like your shit don’t stink but if it’s a think where it aint love but you enjoy the person’s company and your body happens give you cravings for spontaneous sex then hey...be yourself. Because in this case you can!

3.       NO NEED TO DEAL WITH JEALOUSY

Granted we all have a basic level of intelligence to even be classed as humans but sometimes the ‘exclusivity clause’ needs to be double explained to some of us.  For example say a guy says to a girl ‘yeah babe, I want to be with you. I really want you to be my girl because I think you’re special’ the words that are actually registering in her head are ‘yeah babe, I want to be with you. I want you to be THE ONLY GIRL IN MY LIFE BECAUSE THERE IS NONE OTHER LIKE YOU’ I guess some might say the difference isn’t that significant but any guy that has ever been with a jealous girl or accused wrongly will know that at some point during an argument the girl will scream something along the lines of ‘why did you tell me you wanted to be with me if you’re gonna be seeing other girls’ this is because to us girls when you tell us you want us exclusively you’re basically telling us that you’re never going to consider any other girls as sexual partners. Unfortunately men don’t always see it that way. In a FWB relationship this doesn’t tend to happen. You can’t go fretting over someone cheating when you’re not in a relationship. Yes there is the common courtesy issue of each party involved letting the other know of any other partners but is more of a health and safety issue (never FWB a guy that has a girlfriend or sleeps with other girls unprotected or sleeps with whores...just saying). When there is less/no jealousy the sex is usually better. You don’t tend to have those pride stricken moments where you’re hungry for a fix but can’t go get it coz you’re angry.

4.       IT'S GREAT FOR THOSE WITH COMMITMENT PHOBIAS

I know it’s not really a solution but come on we all need some lovin every now and then but we don’t all need the hassle that comes with commitment. Some would say relationships aint that bad and the love makes everything ok. Well, from my point of view, love didn’t make me feel better about any of the baby mama drama, cheating, backstabbing and/or loneliness in my past relationships. If anything it made me feel worse thinking about how much I loved the person and they just decided to take my dedication and shit on it. Now the essence of FWBs is that they’re there to be fun. You don’t have to deal with love or betrayal in any other fashion you would deal with it were it to be any other friend you have.

There’s also no need for the regular phone calls, the date nights or meeting the family. As a matter of fact no one needs to know about it and if you’re not one that likes cuddles you can easily just get up after and head home without any hard feelings.

5.       YOUR MILEAD WON'T GO UP

Ok so I have this little thing where I look at the amount of guys a girl has been with like you would look at mileage on a car. The more mileage, the less desirable. Obviously there are a few external factors such as how amazing the cars ‘engine’ is and whether the driver has sentimental attachments to the car but in essence a girl needs to keep her mileage in check.

Problem is (as mentioned before) we still wanna get busy. Sometime people think we’re crazy for wanting to be single coz we can’t get our regular fix no more but what they don’t know is that we can. There two main ways a girl can get her freak on; it is either she just does every dude that catches her eye as and when she pleases or she sets aside a designated individual to do the do with. Personally I think the second option is more appealing. One night stands not only get you around but they are also unsafe. Having a FWB means you can get jiggy widdit as often as you want whilst our mileage only goes up by one.

So these are just a few things I love about the FWB arrangement but don’t get me wrong, it does have its downsides and I should probably point out certain things. As much as i agree that sex should really be between two loving individuals (preferably married) i understand that some of us do have needs we can’t budge and this post is addressed to those.  FWB arrangements are strictly for people who are single and expect to stay so in (at least) the near future. If they’ve got a man/girl or are seeing anyone on a regular please do not get used or heartbroken (or even worse tangled up in a love web) by assuming he/she will leave their partner/potential to be exclusive with you. Firstly exclusivity is not what FWB is about anyway. Though FWBs shouldn’t be sleeping with other people without each other’s consent they are more than free to see other people but you do NOT want to be the side chick/man or be a cheat...it’s not a good look.

Also, if you’re a girl you might find that people might see your preference as slutty behaviour; it’s up to you how you see it. According to some having sex with anyone you’re not in a committed relationship with is whoreish. My biggest argument is usually my mileage theory but I just generally give very little fudge about what ignorant people think of me so it’s all good.

FWB relationships are not the kinda thing you just jump into. Unfortunately, just like usual dating, you need to do some ground work. You can’t just shag someone on a regular and avoid they’re calls during the day and say its coz you’re just FWB...no, that’s a booty call situation. It’s a very different cup of tea. In order to achieve the mutual benefits described above you both need to enjoy each other’s company and at least know each other on a platonic basis. I hate it when some people pretend not to know each other when they are blatantly doing the nasty when no one is looking. You don’t have to tell anyone that you’re doing each other but at least give each other the respect of acknowledging each other in public and do stuff together. The essence of this ish is that you’re friends...it just so happens that you like to screw each other. Always remember to wrap it up too guys ;)

Introducing the 'Banana-zonto' by Sister Deborah

So I just watched Deborah Vanessa’s video to her song ‘uncle Obama’ *Holds head and snickers in disbelieve*. Don’t get me wrong I totally love it but BOI is that girl crazy. As much as I usually give mixed race Ghanaian celebs extra slack coz they tend to think it’s ok to be mediocre at their trade simply because the majority of the Ghanaian public goes crazy for anything yellow i.e. mangoes, MTN, Van Vicker ... basically everything that if you have too much of, is sure to make you through up with disgust. Surprisingly once I got done hating on her sizzling body I had to admit to myself that she isn’t so bad after all. As a matter of fact she has to be (alongside my husband wanlov who apparently happens to be related to ‘Debbie’ and appears in the vid) one of the coolest GH celebs out there. Not only does she seem to know how to make a dime by making this tune alongside her day job as the host of ‘The late night show’ and being a model but according to her tweets she doesn’t seem to have that spoilt dada bee attitude a lot of these ‘pretty girls’ seem have. All in all, she deserves a feature on my blog, especially so after the airing of her new vid *continues to giggle*

The above mentioned video is not only well produced but also very creative and, if you’re gonna believe me; I should say that it’s actually quite funny.  You can actually watch it below...

To be honest I think I am more infatuated with what Debbie represents more than the art itself. You know when you meet a girl and she’s everything and says everything and does everything you would NEVER dare to do and you just adore her for it because in a weird, twisted and confusing ‘inception’ kinda way you vicariously through her craziness...yeah, that’s Deborah. Mind you I’m still a crazy heffer but never have I even in my craziest dreams, would I dare to make a song about the large banana of a man called uncle Obama so I can just imagine how much more of a muse Deborah must be to the mentally sane portion of females in existence.

I just think it’s really cool how she does and says what she wants and has fun with it whilst making us sexy minded but not quite as sexy bodied girls drool over her splendour just as much, if not even more than the guys. I think my point is (sorry about the uncertainty but I am still laughing about the 1001 innuendos in ‘uncle Obama’) we GH chicks should aim to be more like Debbie. Whether our fantasies are to turn up to events in skin tight cat suits with the back cut out, speak pidgin like we from makola or sing about insinuating songs about a man’s banana all whilst still looking like a piece of red velvet cake with butter cream icing and a cherry on top, we should do that. Inhibitions aren’t sexy...after all ‘les freak, cest chic’. Also i've come to realise since working in a field that involves artistes that as a girl, you're not going nowhere unless you're oozing sex appeal. it might sound sexist but this 'sex sells' thing ain't just talk ladies. You will get no where until you get noticed and in a world still run by men this will happen most easily by representing irresistability and Power...in other words Sex and independence. If you like dont believe me but you just try selling anything whilst looking like you just stepped out of a nollywood movie and come and tell me how that goes for you. i'll be waiting! 

Ghana party in the park '12

So as usual I’m a little bit late on this post simply because I just haven’t gotten the grip on when he weekend ends yet. I tend to try and push it as far as I can but finally Monday has caught up even with the most procastinatious of us...yours truly!

On Saturday the 15^th of September (after a long a frankly frustrating wait) akwaaba UK finally decided to hold (what used to be) one of the most looked forward to events of the summer for most of the Ghanaian community in and around greater London. I for one love everything that involves a big group of African people as I can be ‘Ashanti’ I please with little consequence so I decided to go even though there was a last minute venue change but it turned out to be in my favour so I really had no excuse. On top of that it was a good way to promote and advertise some MYHH tees on the prettiest billboard around....MOI! ;)

Being the Africans that we are, my family and I got there quite late and thought there would be a massive queue but we were pleasantly surprised and stood corrected but then again that meant that when we walked in the park looked quite bare compared to the masses that would turn up for party in the park in its early years.

No lie I met a few nice personalities including twitter personality twi teacher (@twi_teacher) who by the way has a new tune out called ‘kraman style’....don’t ask. He’s original like that! You can check him out on twitter under @twi_teacher. Tell him I sent you! I tried getting him to wear a MYHH on stage but apparently that would have messed up the ‘fanshin’ he had on so I let it slide...not forgetting he bribed me with chicken. If you want a Ghanaian girl to stop nagging, give her chicken, will work most of the time. He went on to perform yam and chofi which drove everyone wild and i don’t blame em, i for one have never been one to object to yam and chofi...EVER!

Some of the other artistes that performed included fuse odg with hit tune azonto. I was slightly disappointed he did not perform ‘antenna’ as one of the guys in the epic dance video that’s gone viral in relation to this song was present at the event. Other personalities included tribal man amongst others.

To my amazement I actually ran into two beautiful young ladies who were rocking MYHH shirts and took pictures. The movement is spreading wildly and it ain't stopping. I advice you holla at me for t-shirts before they become essential commodities people.

All in all the entire event was fun and I got to meet some nice people which has always been the point of GPITP...for Ghanaians to socialise with each other. Check out the pictures I took ;)

marshmallow in MYHH paired with short skirt and a blingy belt 

oh yeah...i forot to mention the converses :P

pulling current from twi teacher

pretty girls  rocking MYHH...join the club NOW!