yes I know, as usual I presume my readers are split in opinions. Most of you must still think am crazy and the rest just think its cute...NO! Like really, there is nothing worse than being called sweetie. Not only do I think its very huge sign of lack creativity on my mothers part but I also resent the fact that me being named as such was a complete and utter accident, an accident which I shall gladly narrate to you...
OK, so my mother had been in hospital for a few days before my birth due to the fact that apparently I was giving her complications, according to a certain doctor I had tied the umbilical cord around my neck and was now on the verge of suffocating and that this was why I wouldn’t keep still in my mothers tummy. To be perfectly honest with you I think I just wanted up and out of there as much as I love my mother she was way too skinny for my liking when she had me and as much as I may not recall my days as a foetus I am quite sure without the extra padding and insulation of a chubby woman (which considering how much my mum loves cooking is really what she should have been) it might possibly have gotten quite cold and bumpy in there so I wanted to explore other options.
Anyway at some point my mum was induced into labour and here I was...the product of both my mother and father, obviously!
Funnily my father wasn't actually there when I was born (I will explain in future posts) even though as tradition goes, it was his responsibility to name me and apparently he had readied a name for me but never showed up in time for when my mother was confronted with the task of registering my birth, and to do that, I needed a name. Fortunately for my mother (unfortunately for me!) she had settled on calling me sweetie because the nurses insisted on telling my mother how cute I was and therefore put sweetie asantewaa on my birth certificate as a temporary solution until she came up with something better. And now here I am 20 years later and it still says sweetie asantewaa on my birth certificate, I acknowledge that Africans (and everyone else nowadays to be honest) never keep to their timing but I’m quite sure 20 years cannot be referred to as temporary.
Its kinda odd because to be frank, my name never bothered me too tough when I was younger as I lived in a country that hardly spoke English and so the oddness of my name was not as obvious because no one immediately assumed its meaning but then I moved to the UK and it was a whole different case. People would hear about me at a new school in a matter of hours because rumours would spread concerning whether my name was real or not. Growing up men would find it an opportunity ever so unmissable to make insinuative jokes. 'so do you taste as sweet as your name?' :/ like really dude? You couldn’t come up with nothing better? But guys are are just a whole different post all together so getting back to my name...I guess it has had its bad and some good sides too. I have raked in a few compliments on account of my name I guess I should seize this opportunity to thank my mother for making it impossible for me to get work as a serious politician without previously erasing my entire identity from birth till now and also for giving me a name that is a great ice breaker when meeting new people. I guess there are a lot of friends I wouldn’t have made if it wasn’t for awkward introductions and just me cracking up about my name in the first place so I cannot complain too much.
Also if I think of some other people's names I am quite glad I got what I got. For example, Gaylord, if there is anyone out there reading this with the name Gaylord I utterly empathise with your pain but even they make something out of it. There are a lot of option, such as nicknames etc.
also I recently learnt that if I was Yoruba I would have, according to tradition, been named abidemi which d name given to someone born in their father's absence. I have always known my father wasn’t there at the point of my birth and he wasn’t there most of the rest of my life but I’m not sure I would want to be labelled like that. To be honest I love the name abidemi and I mean no disrespect but looking at all the other weird names my mother could have gone for (i.e. sheniqua, danisha, ladonna, beyonce, Sunday, precious, godsent etc.) I am quite appreciative of what she settled on, even if it was by 'mistake'.
And that's why being called sweetie is absolutely, weirdly normal.
Lol. Can't stop laughing! :)
ReplyDeletelol im glad you enjoyed it
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