Thursday, 12 July 2012

Man’s war against woman’s best friend


So i was having a discussion with a ‘friend’ the other day and I explained that when I’m married, I would very much appreciate if my husband would gimme some jiggy at least once every day, depending on our schedules and exhaustion levels, of course, and he was oddly surprised.
I’ve always said that once I am married and sex has become more of a bonding mechanism than a filthy measure of lust I am going to make the most of it so I was surprised that my friend didn’t agree. In his opinion, having sex every day is just way to tiring and since he has some kind of personal vendetta against quickies he just hasn’t got the strength to be making marathon length love to his wife every night (or morning/afternoon depending on what you prefer). After vigorous analysis of the situation (i.e. 15 minutes of mouthy banter later) I came to understand his point and decided to make a suggestion to solve the issue at hand; let’s say I was to marry said friend and he didn’t supply me with my required dose of sex as and when due then it wouldn’t be that much of an issue provided I am allowed to put ‘alternative gadgets’ into use.
Before you ask, yes, I do mean a vibrator. I know as a Christian girl its kinda taboo borderline grave sin to own one but in my defence it was a gift from an ex and it was of good use during my mad hatter days. I haven’t used or even seen the thing in years but I’m pretty sure its somewhere amongst the stuff I got in storage so if I was to ever need it it’s there. Problem is my friend (who, I should have mentioned earlier is male and of African descent) almost dislocated his jaw at the fact that I suggested ‘going behind my husband’s back and pleasing myself’. Like really?
So I thought about it in a little bit more depth but still couldn’t justify why any man would be so selfish as to deprive in such an outrageous (and mind you, unnecessary) manner.
After all if you think about it men masturbate all the time. As much as they hate to admit it they do. And I’m pretty sure they still do even when they are married. As a Christian I’m a bit on the fence as to whether masturbation is right or wrong outside of marriage because some would describe it as a form of fornication especially as usually when you’re doing the do you’d have to do some serious imagining and thinking of fornication alone is a sin but is the same the case when you’re married?
At the end of the day if you think about it I am saving my marriage a lot of strain coz God knows I won’t be a happy bunny if I have to take my current deprivation into ‘till death do us part’ so rather than finding me a sexy toy boy who has more stamina than my husband wouldn’t be safer, wiser, less stressful and most importantly less sinful to delve into a little DIY. Wouldn’t it just keep everyone happy? Mind you I understand that talking from this point of view it may look like I put way too much emphasis is on the sexual part of marriage but at the end of the day it is very important. I know I will have other opportunities to spend quality time with my husband and I look forward to them also but at the end of the day when a girl had needs she gots needs!
I wonder whether men feel like you’re undermining their capability or manhood by doing it yourself. I don’t really see it that way though. If you cook someone a meal but they want seconds because the quantity you gave them wasn’t enough, does that take anything away from the quality of the food you gave them? No. Even if they have they have to go somewhere else to quench their surplus hunger with inferior food all that proves is that they’ve got a healthy appetite not tat your food wasn’t good. Same way a woman’s sexual activities aren’t necessarily a reflection of her partner’s ability but more so of her sex drive and every woman is different from the next.
Also, men need to learn to live with repercussions. You lot are always talking about how we girls shouldn’t dress provocatively and not expect to be hit on. Same way you shouldn’t act stupid when your wife pounces on you every other hour if you’ve been walking round the house top less showing off your tout chest and abs and exposing them tight muscley calves and....ooops sorry, got carried away. Anyway my point is that after careful consideration I don’t see why guys should feel threatened by us girls and our little toys.
Oh before I end I just want to tell all those that have been asking; yes, I have noticed that my posts tend to share a little too much info and are sometimes very personal. It’s my blog, I wrote it honey. In my defence (that which I do not find necessary but will give anyway because I happen to be PC like that) I just love to share my experiences. People need to realise that not everything I write about is about me. When I discuss an issue I like to take it from all view points, even the ones that do not apply to me personally. The reason I talk about relationships and sex a lot is because people always seem to ask me for advice on that subject but no one wants to talk about it openly, especially from a church chick’s view point. I just feel like if I make one person out there think twice about absolutely anything then I have done my job. ;)

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