Spiders, taking out the trash and TV licensing: reasons why I can’t stay single forever

So a lot of my friends have probably heard me say at some point that I don’t need a man for anything that I couldn’t care less whether I got married provided I get to have kids...yeah, girlfriends I’m really sorry but ...I LIED! I lied BAD!

On this day the 26^th June 2012 I (reluctantly) admit that I (will...probably...in the future) need a man just as much as any other girl, if not more. The clues as to why is pretty much in the title to this post but since I love to talk I may as well explain.

I don’t like spiders. They disgust me. They’ve got eight legs, eight eyes and some of those creepy things can actually jump. Just thinking of em is making me shudder. They are just nasty! What has that got to do with my love life? I’m glad you asked. Well, as mentioned, I do not like the aesthetics of spiders or the fact that they have the capability of crawling in your ears and gnawing at your brain (it may be hear-say but who am I to discredit any sort of gossip), however, these little advocates of the devil seem to insist on setting up camp in my bedroom during summer months. I am all for being at one with nature but there is no way I am spending a night sleeping, knowing full well there is an arachnid in my bed room, hence why I need a man to act as my personal pest control. Preferably he won’t be the kind that’ll find it funny to try and chase me with the corpse of a dead spider because all that will happen is that I’ll end up crying silent tears in a corner whilst trying to rock myself to sleep (yes, THAT is how much spider freak me out) but essentially I just need someone to make em disappear. Any man can get at least an ounce of honour from me just by saving me from spiders, as a matter of fact I would be even better if he also took over the task of risk prevention i.e. making sure that I don’t see, hear or anticipate having to confront a spider. This might include changing the channel when spiders come on TV. Ripping out ‘artistic’ ads from my magazines if they feature any creepy crawlies and/or learning how to fell trees coz I’m not having any growing close to any of the windows in my future home (well, that’s not just coz of the spiders, I refuse to give my future teenage daughter any possible means of vacating her bedroom to attend parties I have forbidden her to attend). So that’s that.

Taking out the trash is a man’s job. I don’t remember when I have ever taken the actual bin out (I don’t mind the recycling) on time and not tried to squeeze in as much as possible just to avoid that nasty stench that meets you when you take of the bin lid *gags* that ish is just vile. I also happen to be a little ocd about pathogens i.e. bacteria, fungi so it is a bit of a hassle to take out the trash out of the bin, wash my hands so I can touch the door knob, take the trash out, walk back in leaving the door ajar, wash my hands again so I can close my front door and then putting a new bag in the bin and washing my hands again for good measure coz I would have had to touch the lid of the bin again. So all in all you must agree with me that having a man to take out the trash just makes more sense. Especially if my life ever jolts out of this stand still and I actually have to be time efficient again in the near future.

Now, TV licence. If you’ve never lived in Britain you won’t get this but our royal majesty (as much as I love her) still seems to turn a blind eye towards the fact that we get billed for watching TV. Oh and it’s not only for watching TV ON a TV but also if you watch live TV on a laptop or smart phone. I think it’s just above £100 a year, I may be wrong but my ignorance is the exact reason as to why I need someone else in my household to deal with that nonsense. Can’t TV just be the one thing I do not associate to a bill? I think I deserve that much.

I’m sure that many girls agree with me on the above points, if you’ve been to uni you’ll most probably have a sour relationship with the TV licence people anyway, but to put jokes aside I have come to realise more and more recently that I am not actually the independent island I always portray to be. As much as I hate having people around me 24/7 and I enjoy my privacy I know that sooner or later, preferably sooner, I will need someone to help me lead this mad life I’m living. I’ve never argued about the fact that I would be perfect right hand (wo)man to any gentleman but I never really think of what they can do for me very much. Other than the obvious materialistic benefits of having a man around I have noticed how much someone’s company alone can improve your quality of life. Being celibate and all I decided not to date completely because I was trying to avoid temptation...trust me its worked. I deleted the number of my booty call and stopped giving out my number to guys even if I knew they were just trying to be friends (we all how that goes) and as much as I’ve got ‘needs’ I guess the thing I miss most is just spending time with someone I really like. I still don’t think I could date anyone unless I know they have made the same commitment towards celibacy as me but at least now I know that I DO need a man like they always say and I know I ain't heartless lol.

Mind you, this won’t keep me from fronting. When my family goes off on one about me getting married first out of my cousins I will reject the notion. I am too used to my image and if anyone dare refer me to this blog post I WILL deny everything said LOL. Just kidding...

Laters x

NO PANTY DAY

Ok so what should I talk about today...oh I know, ‘no panty day’ -_-

First of all can somebody tell me who comes up with these ridiculous ‘holidays’?

I very much suspect uber facts but I’m pretty sure they must be getting the ideas from a particular individual. Twitter has pretty much become the number platform to share any sort of useless rumour and it will spread like wildfire. I guess it goes to show how effective it is. Wonder how many people would retweet and talk about it if I was to tweet ‘Jesus loves you’ though but that’s an issue for another day.

No panty day. LOL. I saw this and just shook my head. Don’t get me wrong I have nothing against people who decide to go ‘commando’ as a matter of fact I support the notion to a certain extend.

I was actually reading this pastor’s message about marital sex and the lack of discussion about this in Christian marriages. The message was as follows:

Sex according to Pastor Agrippa Khathide

Sex according to Pastor Agrippa Khathide  

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“A lot of people don’t associate sex with God – they associate it with Satan and darkness, as if sex weren’t holy The Bible is explicit when it comes to sex. Sex is holy within marriage, and there is no prescribed style nowhere in the Bible does it say that the missionary position is the only sexual style.

Not discussing sex in a relationship leads to divorce!!!!!. Pastor Khathide has counselled women who’ve complained: my husband treats me as if I were his brother. There was one who told him: I am tired of getting sex fortnightly, like a salary. Khathide told her she was lucky to be getting sex fortnightly, since some wives only get it on big days, like elections.

Many husbands leave their wives to seek sexual pleasures in Hill brow. Have you ever asked yourself what those wives have that you don’t? Wives have become very frigid and even sleep with their panties. If you’re a married woman, you should sleep naked and let your bum touch your husband.

Today you find men going out of their way to get a glimpse of a vagina. They page through magazines and even go to lingerie departments in stores hoping to see what’s hidden under panties, because their wives hide it from them.

Marriage is about being free with your body in front of your partner.

A woman should parade naked and do some modelling to tempt her husband.

There are many married women who don’t know what their husbands’ penises look like. They only feel it when he enters her. They’ve never touched it, let alone see it, because the husband switches off the lights before undressing. A penis is a wife’s toy – she is supposed to play with it.

He blames couples for not making time for sex and complaining about being tired after a day’s work. You find many couples who’ve been sexually starved for years. God created sex for procreation and also for pleasure. You can’t marry and not have a good time in bed.

WHO SAID YOU CAN ONLY HAVE SEX AT NIGHT?

Why can’t you drive home during lunch and have a quickie with your wife?

We’re all equal in sex – it’s not just about a woman satisfying a man. You have to satisfy each other. Have you ever seen a woman who has been satisfied? Have you noticed how she glows and becomes energetic?

May the Lord Bless you. This is the “Whole Truth,
Nothing but the Truth” so God Help Us from the Beginning”

The phrase ‘I second that’ is an understatement.

I never really get why some Christian women are so frigid and don’t like talking about sex with their husbands. If you’ve actually been a god (as we all should be) then this is the time for you to experiment, live out the naughty little thoughts you had to pray for forgiveness about, only that now, you won’t be judged for it by anyone including Jesus. Sex according to the bible is not just there for the sake of reproduction but also for the enjoyment of both a husband and a wife (your OWN husband/wife I should add...there is no ‘la borrow’ in this matter) so why would you not as a married woman seize the chance to show a little bit of ‘extra flesh’ for your husband today.

I am not saying all women should walk around without their knickers on in public but if you’re not the impulsive kind of woman then this day is the perfect excuse for you to meet you hubby at the door without no draws on... any other clothing is also optional ;)

We actually had a discussion about sex before marriage yesterday at my midweek church service group and trust me I am not implying that people should go out there and expose themselves or put themselves in a vulnerable position. Not saying that at all. I’m just saying that sometimes (although I am not necessarily talking out of experience so don’t hold me to it) having sex with the same person the same way may become a little tedious so I just think we ladies should grab any and every opportunity to make it a little more exciting as long as we do it in the way God intended it and we aren’t sinning in the process. After all eve was naked until she felt she needed to hide her sin under clothes made from leaves. If you can’t go commando for your own hubby then honey I suggest you start telling him what you’re hiding.

I was also told that, apparently tomorrow, The 23^rd of June 2012, will consequently be named ‘eat a p***y day’ *sigh*.  Again I can’t hide the fact that married couples need to be taking advantage of these days but really? You had time to sit down and dedicate a whole 24hours to that? Kmt these people need help...urgently!

Personally, I have vowed myself to celibacy until I am married anyway so I won’t be joining in on the ‘festivities’ but I know that even though I am not being promiscuous or encouraging anyone to do so, I am still going to get some criticism for voicing some of my opinions so openly.

All I can really say (not necessarily in my defence because bottomless criticism does not faze me) is that as a Christian I don’t see why I shouldn’t be allowed to talk about sex. Sex is just as much a part of life as pretty much anything else nowadays. We are confronted with it almost everyday.

Don’t people think that it is a better thing for Christian kids to discus sex and thus, get the relevant information they need to know (be it information on the science, emotions or God’s will about sex) rather than us keeping stum?  You how they say that you can’t talk and listen at the same time, it’s true. If we are not allowed to voice our opinions then:

1.                 1.  We will be in the position to listen to all the nonsense that friends and the media will try t teach us which is not appropriate.

2.                  2. If we have distorted perceptions about sex then this will never become apparent. We will live all our lives thinking a certain way about the topic which may be totally false

To me the second point is most concern. I for one had a construed idea of sex for a very long time. I always thought that if I was with a guy and he wanted sex I had to give it to him, it wasn’t something I was to enjoy or utilise as a bonding mechanism. During that entire period I believed that sex wasn’t meant for the woman but just for the man. A way to please him.

That is exactly why I am not a virgin and I am not ashamed to admit it because

1.                      1.     Jesus loves me anyway

2.                       2.     If I hadn’t already tasted the sin and if I didn’t already know how much it took for me to give it up then being celibate wouldn’t be that much of a big deal to me

When I got saved in the summer time last year I promised God I was going to give some things up for him. I didn’t really specify what at the time because I wasn’t sure yet but I eventually started off with my piercings then in November 2011 I gave up sex. I ironically I was in a relationship at the time so it wasn’t great timing on my part but ‘God works in mysterious ways’. I have been celibate for over 7 months and I am actually pretty proud of myself. Trust me it is NOT easy at all! Anyway, my point is that actually I didn’t give up sex for God but for my own good.  I had ended up with such a negative/wrong/unholy view towards sex it was actually NECESSARY for me to give it up in order for me to have a better understanding of God’s purpose for the act.

All in all I guess my point is that the ‘no panty day’ is total bogus but if you can make something good come out of it then hey...YOLO!

Baby Daddy Syndrome

I think this is one for the guys.

Please just so my pretty little head can wrap itself around the notion, could one of you please explain exactly why you think that having a child out of wedlock is an achievement coz I really don’t gerrit.

My cousin was on the phone with someone the other day and she, being the disrespectful little heffer she is (no offence ama), was busting jokes with this guy who happens to be a few years older than her. Now my cousins humour can easily be confused with insult if aren’t used to it so I wasn’t surprised when at some point said gentleman insisted (jokingly of course) that she show him some respect because he is some body’s father....

Wait, reeeeeewwwwiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnddddddddddd....stop!

According to this fine gentleman here, getting your girlfriend pregnant by accident and then accepting the child due to lack of choice makes you a respectable male in this day and age. I don’t know about any girls reading this blog but I think I didn’t get the memo. As far as I know having an accidental baby out of wedlock in this day and age only indicates one of two things (or both) you are ignorant towards the simple thing we call contraceptive or you have super powered sperm that breaks through all of the modern engineering that goes into condom manufacturing and earnestly, I can’t say I can give you kudos for either.

It’s a different scenario if say, you were with a long term girlfriend/fiancée or even better, if you had actually gone through the socially (and Godly) accepted procedure of marrying the woman that had your child (preferably before she had said child) then we could discuss how noble and respectable you are. At this point in time all your situation says to me is that you got a woman you obviously didn’t love very much (or else you’d still be with her) pregnant by accident (due to your incapability of using a condom or any of the other umpteen types of contraception out there) and are now attempting to claim respect by the means of letting everyone know you are a father. If anybody with a similar mind set as this brother I am describing is reading this post, I plead with you in the name the lord that died on Calvary for your and my sins...go get your balls snipped!

Don’t get me wrong guys there’s nothing wrong with being a proud father. It’s actually kinda cute but don’t demand respect on the simple grounds of being a father. It’s a bit like a hen telling you not to slaughter it coz she laid you an egg. If said hen refused to incubate the egg for it to hatch and also refused to nurture such egg for it to grow into an adult chicken then said hen is going into my soup because it hasn’t really been of any benefit for me other than put another egg into my basket. Putting a child into this world is irrelevant if you aren’t there for them or if you aren’t assuming your parental duties. The guy I’m referring to in this post is actually a good father so I do give him some kudos but it shouldn’t be done for the sake of respect. It should be done because you love your child.

Its kinda weird coz then you also get the kind of guys to whom being a father adds no value to their life at all. Personally, I don’t get them either. How can you not see the pride and joy there is in being a father? Yes I am going to be very two faced here and criticise both extremes.

I am tired of men making me feel like a nutter because I feel that one of my greatest achievements in life would be to birth and nurture a virtuous child some day. Some guys just don’t get how special having a child is. How fulfilling it is when a child calls you mummy or daddy. I can only talk from the female point of view but I know from my male friends that their feeling is similar.

Anyway I’m going to stop here with this topic because it’s a very sensitive one with a lot of grey areas but I just wanted to put the questions (and my opinions) out there for anyone else who might have been thinking about similar things. If you have any comments feel free to let me know.

Oh wait, erm,  i’m just listening to stay jay ft mugeez new tune ‘my babe’...i haven’t made a verdict on the actual song yet (even though i love me some mugeez) but is it me or is stay jay trying to force some bass into his voice in the song? Oh, odo...please don’t do that wai wo b3 y3 aaa na style no 3gyai wo. M3 ny3 saa. :P

Laterz xx

ok so i have more relationship gist but that's for later on in the evening or maybe tomorrow. i just broke my fast and i am feeling way too full to be typing plenty.

however...

i was talking to my cousin today and she brought my attention to this new girl band from gh.
girl band? gh? yeah i know it's a shocker! considering the stupid drama you hear happening between legon girls and co you wouldn't think that any gh girls would be willing to share a limelight but actually i thought wrong.
i dont really know where and how they found their way into the studio but thank God they did as i think they are a fresh breeze in gh music's hamattan. as much as i love all the new things the boys are doing for gh music i feel it's so cool that there's an all girl group.
their first single is called good girl gone bad and as much as its a bit cliche and the dance moves are a bit typical i believe that lynx (their record label) did quite well signing these girl as i must admit that i have been singing the hook to this song all day (even if it is in ewe).
the video quality is pretty ace too, costumes werent all perfect in my humble opinion but whoever directed this video needs to send his contact details to stay jay...

which brings me to my next topic...

stay jay's twaame lala video. hm where do i start?
as far as i can see there is no comprehendable plot to this particular piece.
first of all i dont get the whole 'summer time, chilling on the ball court' vibe coz it doesn't go with the song. also why has twaame lala suddenly been turned into an azonto tune? just because azonto seems to be selling right now dont mean EVERY video by every artist needs to have azonto dancers in them but if you must at least get good ones eh. oh stay jay! isnt the whole point of azonto that it shouldnt be choreographed? mm maybe i'm mistaking.
and the girls in the multicolour leggings, oh lawd!!! kmt you know what i wont talk again. you watch the vid yourself and judge it on your own accord before they say i talk to much. me and my basket mouth. enjoy!

Act like a lady...think about what you need!

Hey guys so for a while now I’ve wanted to do some more random posting. Structural thinking just isn’t for me as I hardly keep up with schedule (that however doesn’t mean I don’t get stuff done).

I’ve been posting about specific aspects of my life on this blog but for a while now I haven’t really been able to pin point anything to talk about and besides that, my topics tend to overlap anyway so what better solution than just to be random eh? :P

Well, so I just finished watching ‘act like a lady, think like a man’ and yes I know I am late but bear with me. I am not going to give you a synopsis coz they are boring and if you are planning on watching it then me telling you everything that happens will spoil the fun. I won’t lie and say that the movie is anything extraordinary. It’s your usual kind of chick flick to be honest – boy meets girl, girl falls in love, boy has some sort of personal fault that keeps the relationship from blossoming, girl tries to change him, it back fires, girl realises she needs to make some changes herself, they both compromise and live happily ever after (so much for no synopsis eh lol)

It was entertaining because it had a few jokes however I won’t say that they were out of the norm.

The reason why I wrote this post after watching it was because in the last scene of the movie I kinda came to a realisation. Some women don’t know what they need.

Ok let me explain, recently I have been battling with the all time question that almost every girl (with standards) has to deal with at some point: do I go for the guy that is willing to get serious (even if it is a little fast) and put a ring on it and make an honest woman out of me, who is willing to look after me and wants nothing more than to make me his wife and give me his babies or do I choose the guy that makes me happy but might not be as financially or emotionally stable? Mind you they both love you and care very much but the major difference is ...well, see there isn’t any difference between them. Bare with me here.

Getting married to someone committed and stable that look after and protect us is every woman’s dream right? Well, so is being happy! Question is how do you define happiness and what brings it? Essentially both guys are the same because they could both (in theory) give you the kind of life you need...provided that you know what you need! Yes, we’ve established that you want to happy, we all do. But as a unique woman, one that is different from any other female in the world (emphasised for those ladies that think comparing yourself to your girlfriend is appropriate in matters of the heart) what do you NEED to make you happy. The answer to that can be very different to what you want to make you happy.

I used to think I should be happy when a guy buys me gifts and takes me out shopping. You know the typical African sugar daddy tip kinda thing. I actually wanted it to be so. I wanted to be the kinda woman that isn’t satisfied until her man gets her diamonds and pearls. I wanted to be the kind of girl that would never fall for a guy that isn’t a graduate. You might think that is crazy but a lot of girls out there think exactly the same. They make themselves want things they don’t need and why? Because everyone tells 'em to. Because apparently it doesn’t matter how much your man loves you if your friends are going to parade the Gucci and Prada their men got for them. We make ourselves want things that don’t actually make any difference to me. I for one have dated guys that would jump through hoops for me. I was once the girl that got picked up from school in a slick car, went shopping every day after school  etc but the man in question did not make me happy because the things I NEEDED to make me happy wasn’t in that particular guy.

This brings me back to the movie. One of the characters is a wealthy, independent young lady who happens to have fallen for a guy that is chef/valet parker/waiter, you know, the temp. She tries to work around what he does at first but when she meets an ex who happens to be a big time CEO she changes the tune again thinking that he would be better for her. On what grounds? They are more similar. Every woman’s downfall ‘we are not compatible’ kmt that phrase irritates the fudge out of me. Yeah I understand that you have some people in the world that are lucky enough to find partners who are very similar to them but have you ever noticed that they tend to be very average people? Extremes don’t work well together a lot of the time. If you as a woman work in management, earning six figures, you’re unlikely to get on with someone who does a similar job. You might get on fine and have a lot of things to talk about but think about it – if you can’t fit him into your schedule half the time what makes you think he can? Sometimes we need opposites to make is work especially if we have an extreme character. Let’s take the independent woman for example, in the movie at the end she says that ‘yes we are different but you make me feel special, I need someone to make me feel special’. That is what she needs and she recognised it. A lot of people don’t realise that different areas of our lives overlap. We are human after all and we only have one brain and one personality to matter how adaptive we are (provided we are not psychotic). If the reason you are so successful in life is because you always feel the need to be special, different, above everyone else then likelihood has it that you will need a man that makes you feel the same because that is how you are regardless of whether it’s in business or person. If you like attention and praise you will want it from everyone...simples!

We need to look into ourselves and really look for what we really need sometimes. This, by the way, also goes for guys. I love it when guys I know to be ‘adventurous’ in bed talk about how they can’t date a girl that isn’t a freak in  the sheets, however, many a times have they been offended when I have corrected them about some new ‘skill’ they tried on a girl and she didn’t like. Guys like that don’t like criticism coz they thrive on being sexual Adonis so why would you then ask for a similar woman that isn’t scared to put you in your place if it’s just going to offend you? Does it make sense to you? Didn’t think so.

Anyway I’m going to end this post now coz it’s getting kinda long but I’m sure this topic will come up again at some point in the future so keep your eyes peeled. 

Laterz xx