Hey guys so for a while now I’ve
wanted to do some more random posting. Structural thinking just isn’t for me as
I hardly keep up with schedule (that however doesn’t mean I don’t get stuff
done).
I’ve been posting about specific
aspects of my life on this blog but for a while now I haven’t really been able
to pin point anything to talk about and besides that, my topics tend to overlap
anyway so what better solution than just to be random eh? :P
Well, so I just finished watching
‘act like a lady, think like a man’ and yes I know I am late but bear with me. I
am not going to give you a synopsis coz they are boring and if you are planning
on watching it then me telling you everything that happens will spoil the fun. I
won’t lie and say that the movie is anything extraordinary. It’s your usual kind
of chick flick to be honest – boy meets girl, girl falls in love, boy has some
sort of personal fault that keeps the relationship from blossoming, girl tries
to change him, it back fires, girl realises she needs to make some changes
herself, they both compromise and live happily ever after (so much for no
synopsis eh lol)
It was entertaining because it
had a few jokes however I won’t say that they were out of the norm.
The reason why I wrote this post
after watching it was because in the last scene of the movie I kinda came to a
realisation. Some women don’t know what they need.
Ok let me explain, recently I
have been battling with the all time question that almost every girl (with
standards) has to deal with at some point: do I go for the guy that is willing
to get serious (even if it is a little fast) and put a ring on it and make an
honest woman out of me, who is willing to look after me and wants nothing more
than to make me his wife and give me his babies or do I choose the guy that
makes me happy but might not be as financially or emotionally stable? Mind you
they both love you and care very much but the major difference is ...well, see
there isn’t any difference between them. Bare with me here.
Getting married to someone
committed and stable that look after and protect us is every woman’s dream
right? Well, so is being happy! Question is how do you define happiness and
what brings it? Essentially both guys are the same because they could both (in
theory) give you the kind of life you need...provided that you know what you
need! Yes, we’ve established that you want to happy, we all do. But as a unique
woman, one that is different from any other female in the world (emphasised for
those ladies that think comparing yourself to your girlfriend is appropriate in
matters of the heart) what do you NEED to make you happy. The answer to that
can be very different to what you want to make you happy.
I used to think I should be happy
when a guy buys me gifts and takes me out shopping. You know the typical African
sugar daddy tip kinda thing. I actually wanted it to be so. I wanted to be the
kinda woman that isn’t satisfied until her man gets her diamonds and pearls. I wanted
to be the kind of girl that would never fall for a guy that isn’t a graduate. You
might think that is crazy but a lot of girls out there think exactly the same. They
make themselves want things they don’t need and why? Because everyone tells 'em
to. Because apparently it doesn’t matter how much your man loves you if your
friends are going to parade the Gucci and Prada their men got for them. We make
ourselves want things that don’t actually make any difference to me. I for one
have dated guys that would jump through hoops for me. I was once the girl that
got picked up from school in a slick car, went shopping every day after
school etc but the man in question did
not make me happy because the things I NEEDED to make me happy wasn’t in that
particular guy.
This brings me back to the movie.
One of the characters is a wealthy, independent young lady who happens to have
fallen for a guy that is chef/valet parker/waiter, you know, the temp. She tries
to work around what he does at first but when she meets an ex who happens to be
a big time CEO she changes the tune again thinking that he would be better for
her. On what grounds? They are more similar. Every woman’s downfall ‘we are not
compatible’ kmt that phrase irritates the fudge out of me. Yeah I understand
that you have some people in the world that are lucky enough to find partners
who are very similar to them but have you ever noticed that they tend to be
very average people? Extremes don’t work well together a lot of the time. If you
as a woman work in management, earning six figures, you’re unlikely to get on
with someone who does a similar job. You might get on fine and have a lot of
things to talk about but think about it – if you can’t fit him into your
schedule half the time what makes you think he can? Sometimes we need opposites
to make is work especially if we have an extreme character. Let’s take the
independent woman for example, in the movie at the end she says that ‘yes we
are different but you make me feel special, I need someone to make me feel
special’. That is what she needs and she recognised it. A lot of people don’t realise
that different areas of our lives overlap. We are human after all and we only
have one brain and one personality to matter how adaptive we are (provided we
are not psychotic). If the reason you are so successful in life is because you
always feel the need to be special, different, above everyone else then
likelihood has it that you will need a man that makes you feel the same because
that is how you are regardless of whether it’s in business or person. If you
like attention and praise you will want it from everyone...simples!
We need to look into ourselves
and really look for what we really need sometimes. This, by the way, also goes
for guys. I love it when guys I know to be ‘adventurous’ in bed talk about how
they can’t date a girl that isn’t a freak in
the sheets, however, many a times have they been offended when I have
corrected them about some new ‘skill’ they tried on a girl and she didn’t like.
Guys like that don’t like criticism coz they thrive on being sexual Adonis so
why would you then ask for a similar woman that isn’t scared to put you in your
place if it’s just going to offend you? Does it make sense to you? Didn’t think
so.
Anyway I’m going to end this post
now coz it’s getting kinda long but I’m sure this topic will come up again at
some point in the future so keep your eyes peeled.
Laterz xx
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